Love quickly loses its allure when you have to fight for it. It quickly shows its depth, its stength, its truth when someone tries to tear it down.
Do you have fortitude? What about your love? You may think you do, you may think it does.. Showing your heart sounds so easy, but it requires the stength of a superhero. So who is your superhero, and who is going to save you when your patience runs out? Who is going to encourage you to stay when you'd just rather run away? Are your intentions just intentions or do you follow through with the things you say? Do you live the truth or is it just an ideal, is it just a dream? How do you propose you will find the strength to do believe in this, again and again and again?
Is your love real or not real at all?
We are so good at taking, and so good at giving when we feel like it. What about when we don't want to, what about when the hurt leaves us so scarred we can barely recognise ourselves? Do we walk away and just try to forget? Who loves us then? Where was our superhero, where is the one who sustains us all?

Why do we forget His voice? I guess its just a choice.. I hope my pride isn't strong enough, I hope He turns me around. I hope He wins me back every time I want to let this go...

bite

Seeing eyes
Hearing eyes
Crying eyes
Shallow eyes
The forceps and the bridge
Compute and bring together the
Imagery of life and love
The music of falling apart
Distasteful and serene
Piercing eyes
Level eyes
Dry eyes
Counting the strokes, looking at the stars for a sign
The evenness and the tongue
That never rightly speaks
It surrounds you now
So many ways to get out
But you stand convinced
With lying eyes
Blind eyes
The gallows and the ropes
Lead you to the grave you chose
The ocean can't drown the truth out now

My crying eyes
I tried to tell you so

perywinkle

hidden walls of indifference

i thought i could break every one

but mercy surrounded me

i have come undone.

ample.

love.

love.

captivating mystery..

silence.

how i long for your still small voice

catch me now.

lift the veil..

you long to see the tears.

don't hide your face

nothing can replace you..

spark

all the taken for granted days are gone

listless and homesick, they will sleep in someone else's bed 

for i am convinced of truth, life and eternity

the hope filled heart, these joyful narrow steps

leading me away from sorrow

to love and openness

i hold it in my hands darling

something i cannot see

but i hold is nonetheless

so free..

keep it: keep your spark

and when the night comes

let it go into the sky black and blue and wide

and smile to remember this love.. 

its permanence and simplicity

soft and gentle as petals falling from the sky

the light surrounds us: we are free. 

till the sun turns black

Can you see the young and pretty
Confident as cops
Blooming, laughing in the shops
Till the sun turns black

Can you see the old and lonely
Walking through the park
Pushing grocery carts
Till the sun turns black

Can you see the corporate man
He's winning on the telephone
His possessions are his throne
Till the sun turns black

Can you see him in his lounger
Watching TV in the dark
Waiting for a spark
Till the sun turns black

Oh
Who are we
Oh
Who are we
Who are we?

Can you see the working classes
Trudging through their days
Time goes slowly when you're only waiting
Till the sun turns black

Can you see the wise man simply
Living, loving quietly
Every breath he takes eternity
Till the sun turns black

by: Ray Lamontagne

who are you listening to?

I was sitting on the edge of my boyfriend's hospital bed today just looking at his beautiful face.. I can't tell you how thankful I am to Jesus for watching over him. In situations when we don't have the power to control anything or do anything to help someone get well.. it's so amazing to see how Jesus cares for them on our behalf.

I believe that death has no power to stop me from living my life in Christ. I believe that there is nothing I cannot overcome through the power that Jesus has given me. The impossible is possible with God. And I am believing Him for some really big miracles right now. Outside of trusting in God's grace and ability and honoring Him by how I live my life, I can't do anything to heal myself or anyone else. It's all Him, it's all Jesus. Dark thoughts have been near to me these past few days, and all I can do is claim the truth of the word of God. It's so true that the word of God is like a double edged sword. I am so glad it is, I'm getting to see God work through His word in my heart and it makes me very excited! Lies can creep in so subtly - without even realizing it. I often find that I start to listen to, and believe my thoughts without taking them to God and measuring them against His love and the things He has told me. But then, when I do, wow, it is so amazing!

That's why I love His word... it is such an encouragement.. to look at all the people who overcame and were part of the impossible becoming possible. It's amazing to see that the most pivotal people in the stories of the Bible were completely helpless without the strength and power of God. That fact alone makes me feel so inspired! I can do nothing except tell God that I am willing. I am willing to be soft to His will and do what He tells me to. I don't have anything I can do.. all I have is surrender.. and, as the days go by, God is making it very clear to me that surrender is all He needs of me in order to accomplish His will in me and through me. I am weak, but He is strong and His banner over me is love. He is all we need. His love can see us through anything.. I'm not even going to pretend that I could do this without Him. Every victory is His.. and I am so looking forward to the other side of these battles when I can look back and see how beautiful, perfect and amazing His plan was all along...

this is joy

I don't know if I know much about a lot of things. In fact, I know that I have much to learn... and today, I was able to see things like I've never seen them before. It's funny how prayer brings clarity and perspective to all that we doubt or find confusing. Not only prayer, but the sweet whisper of Jesus, brings so much calm and enlightenment.. Due to the fact that I am sensitive, I often notice the little things people do - both good and bad. Today I found myself confronted by a couple of fears about what people thought of me.. Sometimes when people aren't sensitive, they say and do things that can be very hurtful. To make matters worse, when we feel hurt, we can often say things to ourselves that are untrue.
Today I was reminded that no matter what people say, or how we perceive their words or actions, it's so important to go to Jesus to bring truth and light into the situation. He reminded me that I will always be swayed by opinions, feelings, hear-say etc unless I bring things to Him. He is steadfast and He won't waiver.. I need Him to tell me what the truth is because there are so many opinions; it can be very hard to choose who to listen to. As soon as I begin asking myself, "who is right" I get so confused because there's so many different perspectives. One thing I do know is that God is not only right, He is the source of right. He is the source of peace, truth, hope and love. His answers are sure, stable and true. Today Jesus reminded me of the things he has told me, which made the comments of the people I encountered and the feelings I had - virtually irrelevant. It's amazing how hurt, misunderstanding and lies can bounce off of His grace and love! What a feeling of freedom to know that no matter what someone says, or how they treat you, it can't change what Jesus has done, and what He has spoken to you!!! What a powerful feeling.. that in my weakness, insecurity and doubt, HE speaks to the core of my being, and brings truth and freedom - and in that, there is so much strength and peace.. It makes me so happy to know that His truth is higher. That is a fact. So much of what we consider truth is formulated by our own paradigms and beliefs... But His truth lasts forever, and is firmer than the foundations of the earth! It's so amazing to carry this truth in my heart.. no one can argue it, debate it or take it away from me. It's mine and it's His.. He gives truth to me, and I will treasure it every time He gives me more.. I can't help but sigh at His amazing love and grace.. He is so good.. and I am so glad that there is one person in the world who completely understands me and won't ever treat me carelessly... Jesus.. You are SO wonderful - how You fill my heart with JOY!