who are you listening to?

I was sitting on the edge of my boyfriend's hospital bed today just looking at his beautiful face.. I can't tell you how thankful I am to Jesus for watching over him. In situations when we don't have the power to control anything or do anything to help someone get well.. it's so amazing to see how Jesus cares for them on our behalf.

I believe that death has no power to stop me from living my life in Christ. I believe that there is nothing I cannot overcome through the power that Jesus has given me. The impossible is possible with God. And I am believing Him for some really big miracles right now. Outside of trusting in God's grace and ability and honoring Him by how I live my life, I can't do anything to heal myself or anyone else. It's all Him, it's all Jesus. Dark thoughts have been near to me these past few days, and all I can do is claim the truth of the word of God. It's so true that the word of God is like a double edged sword. I am so glad it is, I'm getting to see God work through His word in my heart and it makes me very excited! Lies can creep in so subtly - without even realizing it. I often find that I start to listen to, and believe my thoughts without taking them to God and measuring them against His love and the things He has told me. But then, when I do, wow, it is so amazing!

That's why I love His word... it is such an encouragement.. to look at all the people who overcame and were part of the impossible becoming possible. It's amazing to see that the most pivotal people in the stories of the Bible were completely helpless without the strength and power of God. That fact alone makes me feel so inspired! I can do nothing except tell God that I am willing. I am willing to be soft to His will and do what He tells me to. I don't have anything I can do.. all I have is surrender.. and, as the days go by, God is making it very clear to me that surrender is all He needs of me in order to accomplish His will in me and through me. I am weak, but He is strong and His banner over me is love. He is all we need. His love can see us through anything.. I'm not even going to pretend that I could do this without Him. Every victory is His.. and I am so looking forward to the other side of these battles when I can look back and see how beautiful, perfect and amazing His plan was all along...

this is joy

I don't know if I know much about a lot of things. In fact, I know that I have much to learn... and today, I was able to see things like I've never seen them before. It's funny how prayer brings clarity and perspective to all that we doubt or find confusing. Not only prayer, but the sweet whisper of Jesus, brings so much calm and enlightenment.. Due to the fact that I am sensitive, I often notice the little things people do - both good and bad. Today I found myself confronted by a couple of fears about what people thought of me.. Sometimes when people aren't sensitive, they say and do things that can be very hurtful. To make matters worse, when we feel hurt, we can often say things to ourselves that are untrue.
Today I was reminded that no matter what people say, or how we perceive their words or actions, it's so important to go to Jesus to bring truth and light into the situation. He reminded me that I will always be swayed by opinions, feelings, hear-say etc unless I bring things to Him. He is steadfast and He won't waiver.. I need Him to tell me what the truth is because there are so many opinions; it can be very hard to choose who to listen to. As soon as I begin asking myself, "who is right" I get so confused because there's so many different perspectives. One thing I do know is that God is not only right, He is the source of right. He is the source of peace, truth, hope and love. His answers are sure, stable and true. Today Jesus reminded me of the things he has told me, which made the comments of the people I encountered and the feelings I had - virtually irrelevant. It's amazing how hurt, misunderstanding and lies can bounce off of His grace and love! What a feeling of freedom to know that no matter what someone says, or how they treat you, it can't change what Jesus has done, and what He has spoken to you!!! What a powerful feeling.. that in my weakness, insecurity and doubt, HE speaks to the core of my being, and brings truth and freedom - and in that, there is so much strength and peace.. It makes me so happy to know that His truth is higher. That is a fact. So much of what we consider truth is formulated by our own paradigms and beliefs... But His truth lasts forever, and is firmer than the foundations of the earth! It's so amazing to carry this truth in my heart.. no one can argue it, debate it or take it away from me. It's mine and it's His.. He gives truth to me, and I will treasure it every time He gives me more.. I can't help but sigh at His amazing love and grace.. He is so good.. and I am so glad that there is one person in the world who completely understands me and won't ever treat me carelessly... Jesus.. You are SO wonderful - how You fill my heart with JOY!

spoken

How your kindness moves inside my soul
How your love seeps deep into my heart.
I don't deserve your goodness, your grace.
When I finally turned to face the light
..I was loved, all of this time..
My heart cracked and broken inside me -
Why did I fight you day and night
Moment by moment, I sought my own demise.
Unwittingly partnering with destruction.
Now I see his ugly mangled face for what it is..
The black tar of death, his cloak covering the truth.
His charade cannot hold me back..
It holds no sway over me now.
You are all I see.
Your presence surrounds me day and night.
Soft as petals, gentle as the rain in the spring.
Jesus, you are Beautiful and unlike any other..
You keep loving me... I will never have enough
Until my body and soul break apart -
And nothing can hold you inside me anymore
You have made me like the stars in the heavens
Given me wings like the angels
And love to light a thousand fires..
Burn the dross from my spirit
And dress me in eternity...
I want to see you
I want to touch you and taste you and know you
The secrets you keep and the places you go...
You are more real to me than anything I have ever known.
Take me to where your house is
Let me live in the rooms there - I will walk in the open places
I can't help but stare at the skies of heaven with you - nothing separating us
Our memories never fade, this love lives forever.