7 undeniable needs

7 Undeniable Needs of the Human Heart:

1. To be heard and understood

2. To be praised

3. To be validated

4. To belong

5. To be chosen

6. To be safe

7. To experience non-sexual touch

As I survey the list of "Undeniable Needs of the Human Heart", my heart actually sinks a little. For the majority of my childhood and teenage years, 6 out of the 7 needs in that list were not met. This thought alone leaves me wondering: how many people have experienced what I experienced? How many people have lived the majority of their life having almost none of their needs met? By the time I was 20 years old I had actually reached the point where I had learned how not to have needs. That is so sad. Forget Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I feel slightly ripped off that Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs is what teens were/are taught in highschool. The list of the "7 Undeniable Needs of the Human Heart" is far closer to what resonates with what the majority of people really need.

 It seems like this saying has been said a million and a half times but, the truth remains: hurt people hurt people. The challenge for me personally is to not bemoan the fact that when I was growing up my needs weren't met by the people that were "supposed" to love me, but instead I want to surround myself with people who can help me meet my needs now. I can't do anything about the past, the only power I have is to change the now - my present. I have a choice to see the past  for what it was, to learn from it and move on. I have the choice to focus on a more positive present and future. I'm glad the love of God gives me so much hope and joy to the point where I feel like life is actually worth living. The awesome thing is that when you are getting poured into, you can pour out so much to other people too. When your needs are getting met, you will inevitably be able to meet other peoples needs. 

So if you're needs aren't getting met  you may want to ask yourself: 

Is this a healthy relationship?

Am I asking too much or having hidden expectations?
What needs should I rely solely on God to fill and what can I expect other people to fill? 

Am I telling the other person in this relationship what I want/need?

Am I asking them questions about where they are at or am I assuming I know what they think/how they feel?

Am I willing to listen to the truth at the cost of it not being what I want to hear?

Am I willing to forgive someone who has let me down in the past?

These are just a few questions I am asking myself in my relationships with friends, my husband etc. In the end, if I ask these kinds of questions I will be able to love myself, and others better. I will have my needs met and be able to meet others as well. 

No matter what the past looked like - today is a beautiful opportunity to shine, love and dance the pants off the past!