with eyes wide open

why is it that it takes us so long to unravel ourselves from the cycles we go through? we take so long to live truth in our lives - even when we've heard it again and again. it's often that the most important changes we need to make in our lives are the hardest ones to implement. we may come up with a justifiable amount of resolve.. but so often, we find ourselves in exactly the same place we started.

i think i owe it to the world to change. we only have a maximum of 100 years or so on the earth. i am challenged by the ways i am wasting my existence. there are children starving everywhere... there is slavery, oppression, prejudice and racism.. war.. so many are born into this world at a complete disadvantage.. and here i am, living a beautiful North American life with all of this wealth surrounding me... and i am saddened by my self because i still feel like i could be giving more.. loving more.. sacrificing.

what is sacrifice to the North American, really? and i'm not speaking to those that are struggling right now.. i pray you find your feet.. i'm more or less speaking to myself.. and to those who have it in their power to do great and beautiful things in this world. why do we sit idlely by? why do we get trapped in bitterness, negativity, fear and doubt when freedom is ours if we'll only claim it!

when we have all of these opportunities at our fingertips, why not take advantage of them for the benefit of humanity? why is it that we live such self-centered, gluttonous lives in North America? believe me - if it sounds like i'm judging - i'm judging myself first and foremost.. i just feel like we live in this land of amazing opportunity and yet so many people are completely disatisfied... so many people have areas of their lives that they're wasting - areas that are void of depth and meaning. i have areas like this. i think we all do. it is devastatingly humbling to be confronted by that truth..

here is my challenge to myself and to you:
do. go. have faith.. and do the hardest thing you can think of doing. be the change you wish to see in the world. don't let past failures determine whether you will succeed - because you will succeed if you never give up.. keep trusting in God to carry you beyond the possible into the realm of the impossible so that you can learn what it means to be carried on his strength and not just your own. i am learning so much about trusting God and what that means... i'm not very good at it.. but you know, that's ok. i want to let go of the idea of being good at things or not good at them. life is not a competition.. faith is not a competition... love and approval is not something i need to earn with God.. when i don't have trust in God - he becomes trust for me.. when i don't have goodness - he is goodness in me.. everything i'm not - he is through me because he is in my spirit and i remain in him when i trust him.. all things are possible...

let's trust God for our journeys.. let's not waste even a moment of another day.. i'm so sick and tired of my own excuses.. it's time for change.

Oh my love for the first time in my life

My eyes are wide open

Oh my love for the first time in my life

My eyes can see

I see the wind

Oh I see the trees

Everything is clear in my heart

I see the clouds

Oh I see the sky

Everything is clear in our world

Oh my love for the first time in my life

My mind is wide open

oh my love for the first time in my life

My mind can feel

I feel the sorrow

Oh I feel dreams

Everything is clear in my heart

Everything is clear in our world

I feel life

Oh I feel love....

~ John Lennon