a relevant thought...

Whether the cause of fear is major rejection or mild discomfort, the final solution is the same: I must be willing to hurt (greatly or minimally), to suffer loss (be it everything or a few moments of social ease). Only when I accept what I fear, resolving that I am willing to endure whatever may happen, will the fear lose its power (1 John 4:18). The perfect love of Christ provides me with what I need to face my fears. In Christ I have a relationship I cannot lose, a relationship sufficient to sustain me if all others fail. I have an unbreakable safety net beneath me as I venture across the tightrope of involving myself in other people's lives.

When I declare myself, by an act of will, to be willing to lose all human relationship (approval, recognition, love, etc.) if obedience to God requires it, I will be freed from the entanglement of fear. And only when I am freed from the fear of losing a relationship will my motivation approach the reality of love. When I encounter an embarrassed stranger in Sunday school or a close friend who is seriously mishandling his problems, my words will have the power to encourage if they are prompted by love. Notice the paradox: To love a person, I must be willing to lose my relationship with him. Dependently holding onto anyone or anything but God is, in its final form, idolatry. Idolatry is at root - a fear of the wrong god.

~ An excerpt from the book, "Encouragement: The Key To Caring" by Dr. Larry Crabb & Dr. Dan Allender