jealous?

Lovely, oh how I've missed you

Time has slowed way down

And removed what has felt like a part of my soul

I've waited and waited for my love

To melt through the ice that

Keeps you from dancing, keeps you alone

Follow me to the temple

Where we first met

It was love at first touch

But since then

Your affairs have you

Down on your face again - down on your face again..

Lovely, your heart can be trusted

But the toll road you've taken

Has cost you much more than you realize

So hold fast to all you've been given

And cling to the lifeline

You've had within reach all of this time

Follow me to the temple

Where we first met

It was love as first touch

But since then

Your affairs have you

Down on your face again, down on your face again

Try and remember the things that I've said to you

Follow me to the temple

It was love at first touch

Follow me into the daylight

And it will be like it was, like it was

To have you again my love

To have you again my love

To have you again my love

To have you again

                                 ~ Lovely, by Jason Morant: 

     http://www.myspace.com/jasonmorantmusic

This song reminds me of how jealous God is for our love - for our whole heart. Yesterday I was reminded of the amazing desire God has for us. He longs to heal us and to set us free. Jeremiah 30:17 says, "For I will restore you to health and I will heal you of your wounds," declares the Lord, "Because they have called you an outcast, saying: "It is Zion: no one cares for her". God revealed that verse to me in the summer and ever since then I revisit it and cling to the promise within it. 

Last night the Lord directed me to Zechariah 8:2 which talks about Gods' jealous heart for us: "Thus says the Lord of hosts, "I am exceedingly jealous for Zion, yes, with great wrath I am jealous for her"...

I love the fact that God is jealous for my love.. it doesn't make me feel like He's being possessive or controlling. He is such a gentleman, and only invites you and I to partake of His love.. at the same time I know His heart burns for us, His bride. So beautiful. 

It is so humbling that the God of the universe - the God who made the oceans, the forests and stars wants our love more than any other thing. I don't understand it, and I'm pretty certain I never will. All I know is, it is such a beautiful thing to be loved so unconditionally. I was thinking about that today - how God teaches us to love like He does through different circumstances. It's hard to love unconditionally (if you've tried, then you know what I mean). Through Jesus love, we can love that way - it just takes counting the cost, committing to His purposes, and saying yes. 

It's not easy - but anything worth having usually comes at a cost. Situations can push our buttons and make us want to give up, throw in the towel and walk away in frustration.. I'm a fighter. I keep going to the bitter end usually. Before I walk into situations, I usually can discern/know what the cost will be - and I can sometimes get offended that God would ask me to pay so high a price... Then I sit there and battle it out with God. His response is usually, 'Don't you trust Me yet?'.. Ha. That usually puts everything into perspective. 

I am learning to trust Him. I am learning to say yes. I am learning to be committed even when I know how much it might stink. My sacrifices might seem like a lot to me - but in comparison to the sacrifice He gave for me - His entire breath, being and existence.. what protest can I give? Love like His is worth it. It is worth giving up everything I have to pour it into the people He surrounds me with. I fall so short of that so often, but every day He gives me grace to try again. 

I am committed to His purpose, plan and will - however He works it. He is jealous for my love and I want to be jealous for His love.. to protect it, honour it and give it away whenever I have the chance. Even when the stakes are high and I have a lot to lose, I can always go to Jesus to get more.. He is so amazing like that! Unconditional love. So often, we have other loves: we choose idols (relationships, people, music, media, jobs, cars, money, fame etc) over Him. Like the song by Jason Morant says, "It was love at first touch, but since then your affairs have held you down on your face again"... and that is us. We have affairs all the time with this world.. and yet, HE LOVES US. He loves us. I don't understand it. When we are so brutal to Him, when we mock His love, abuse it, take it for granted.. we are often the most awful lovers and yet He wants our love all the more. 

God reminded me of this today: that we are awful to Him and yet His love remains unchanging.. and He challenged me to be like Him - to love like that. I half heartedly laughed at the idea like He must be joking. But the truth is, He isn't joking and whether I see the results of loving someone unconditionally or not, it really shouldn't matter to me. God sees the bigger picture - He sees why it's so important. And that's where trust comes in again.. if I truly trust Him, I don't have to know the reasons why.. I just trust in His unfailing love and press deeper into His heart of love.    

Jesus, thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving us..