resistance or resilience

resistance or resilience?
no matter how it happens
then or now
i will break me
or you will
brokenness is still the same
closed or open
exposed or concealed
vulnerability is inevitable
the shield of men is futile
i can't fight this
the cloud. the wall: it's all i have
i can look out the window all i want
my heart won't shrink
it's all there.
pushing against a force so strong
what of fear, trust, love?
we will build our house with them
still, my heart will explode or die.
won't you lay your armor down
long enough to say all the things
you're trying not to say
the softer the touch of your hand
your heart
the more it feels like knives and thorns
could rip me to shreds
it sounds morbid
but don't be kind
in the end i will thank you
slice away.
i can't win this war.
will i choose it?
contemplation beckons me to come
i want to hold the pain in my arms
the cuts can bleed
crush every bone
until there is nothing left to break
beaten unrecognizable:
that would be just.
Your sacrifice was more committed
more true
real and vulnerable than the feeble
gesture we tell ourselves is love
i can't possibly comprehend Your pain
Your bravery, Your strength and fortitude.
Your tears. Your tears. i watch them fall
whose love can compare to Yours?
You won this war so that I didn't have to
You chose the unforgivable sorrow
of unspeakable pain.
hell tormented You and yet You smiled
You saw each of us: hearts behind walls
veils and shadows: clouds and rain
and You chose the pain
so that we could sit here,
beneath the shadow of Your wings
and laugh at the things to come...