when you're in love

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more.
I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace.
I am ashamed of my lack of desire.
O God, triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still.
Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed.
Begin in mercy a new work of love within me,
Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away."
Then give me grace to follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.

~A.W. Tozer

we are motivated out of fear or love. i want to be motivated by love. to experience how Jesus loves me - to give that away to others - then get more of His love. i have tasted a fraction of that, but i am starving for more! being motivated by fear is so debilitating.. and honestly, it's getting old. i am so hungry for God. i am so hungry for people who want to engage with this world, to impact it with His love. i want more of Your love God!

love comes from relationship; but if love is absent, fear takes over. relationships full of fear inevitably die.

'Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love You and walk with You on my own. I can't do it, and I need You. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that You are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next. I want You. and when I don't, I want to want You. Be all in me. Take all of me. Have Your way with me'. p. 111 - Crazy Love by Francis Chan.

there is a crazy kind of love out there. it's a kind of love that defies all the odds.. the kind of love that people die for, the kind of love that heals people.. mystifies them and sets them free. this world leaves me feeling so unsatisfied. i'm awake and i'm unsatisfied. i'm hungry for more. i know i've been a sell out. i've prostituted myself to my culture and apathetic way of life. i've pretended that You don't require everything.

how did i wake up from this sleep? maybe it was in truly seeing myself. maybe it was seeing where i was headed.. the situations the majority of my friends are in. and i am broken and crying for something. something has to give. and i think that something has to be me. it finally hit me: i am free. so many things have held me down. so many distractions, so much oppression. but i just realized, that as i've been praying, He's been setting me free. as i've been asking for open eyes and ears.. wow. this is happening. and now i'm not scared of what it means to give it all for the right kind of love. Your love. whatever it takes. whatever it means. i'm running. i'm ready. i can't take this anymore. i can't stand still..

Jesus - let's go.